Friday, August 29, 2008

McCain-Palin vs. Obama-Biden

Republicans are considering delaying their convention because of the possibility of Hurricane Gustav hitting the Gulf coast on the first or second day.

 

Oprah cried her eyelashes off at The Messiah's coronation speech last night.

 

The speech, by the way, was largely an attack on McCain with few real details.

 

The "Peanut for Brains" President said that John McCain is "milking" his POW time.  He's milking his time as President.

 

Here are the results from the Democrats' attempt at a "green" convention.

 

Strip clubs did not do as well as they had hoped during the DNC.

 

Obama might not be able to win this election based on poor voters alone.  Income doesn't matter here; it's all about intellect.  He'll win it with ignorant voters.

 

There were 15,000 reporters at the DNC.  Here's what they were doing, according to the Columbia Journalism Review.

 

Clayton County schools lost their accreditation yesterday, severely screwing 50,000 students who go to school there.

 

One of McCain's health care advisors pointed out that everybody in the United States has some sort of access to health care, since hospital emergency rooms are required to treat anybody who walks in.

 

Here's the latest solution to "global warming":  Have fewer kids.

 

McCain has officially picked Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his running mate.  You have to love the fact that the last bill she signed was to allow for the building of a natural gas pipeline.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Obama's Coronation Tonight

Surprise to the "the economy sucks" Democrats:  the economy grew 3.3% in the spring quarter, meaning that we're not in a recession.  The stimulus checks were given most of the credit.

 

By the way, if the economy is so bad, why did the summer box office set a new record?

 

Peggy Noonan has a fantastic summation of the Democrat convention thus far.

 

Democrats are nervous that Obama's coronation speech might just solidify his reputation as a narcissistic rock star figure.  It'll all be about stroking The Messiah's ego.

 

After Bill stole the show last night, analysts say that so far the DNC feels like the Clinton convention.  Of course, Bill's speech was all about—who else?—Bill.

 

The Obama campaign has been micromanaging almost every speech given at the DNC.

 

The Obama anti-free speech thugs were at it again, this time trying to shut down a talk radio show that has an Obama critic on the air.  They sent an e-mail to their supporters to put pressure on the station to pull the guest.

 

With McCain making his announcement of his running mate tomorrow, Democrats are scared that he might pick a woman.

 

The Messiah speaks from his Greek Temple stage tonight.  Here's a preview of his speech, including proof that Geraldine Ferraro was right.

 

Here's a column that needed to be written, calling Democrats the party of whiners.

 

Michelle Obama, the Militant Housewife of Chicago, Illinois, says that Hispanics (she means illegal immigrants) shouldn't have to fear raids.

 

A wealth-envy activist in California wants the state to create a wealth tax.

 

Ted Stevens won his primary in Alaska.  Those Republicans are asking for a Democrat to represent them in the Senate.

 

Republicans in Seattle are in hot water after one of their volunteers distributed $3 bills showing The Messiah in a turban with a camel.

 

Following the rash of shootings in Macon this weekend, the NAACP wants a 9pm curfew in the city.

 

A criminal running from the police in Atlanta was tripped up by his baggy pants.  Maybe that's another downside to the saggy pants ban here in Warner Robins.

 

Michael Phelps is going to host the season premiere of Saturday Night Live.

 

The price of rat meat has quadrupled in Cambodia.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

McCain takes lead in polls

Nancy Pelosi ran into some of the "Drill Here, Drill Now" protestors in Denver yesterday.  Pelosi responded by asking if she could drill their brains.

 

Here's the story on the Obama and Clinton camps working on getting the roll-call vote in the hotel instead of on the convention floor.

 

Bill isn't going to attend Obama's coronation speech tomorrow night.

 

Clinton delegates still aren't convinced about The Messiah.

 

Obama didn't have any luck getting the ad linking him to William Ayres pulled, so his lawyers are trying to lock him up.  A liberal's definition of freedom of speech:  you're free to say whatever you want, as long as it agrees with them.

 

John McCain, not The Messiah, received a bounce from Biden being put on the Democrat ticket.

 

Guess who isn't attending the DNC?  Our very own Congressman Jim Marshall.

 

A 15-year-old Iraqi girl who had planned on being a suicide bomber gave herself up to police instead.  Maybe some of them are human.

 

Horror stories from socialized medicine:  a 21-year-old in Britain was told she couldn't have a $15 per day treatment because it was too expensive.  British doctors aren't even telling patients with myeloma (a bone marrow cancer) about treatments that could extend their lives because they are too expensive.  British hospitals are refusing even basic medical care to old people.

 

Nearly 600 illegals were rounded up in a raid in Laurel, Mississippi, making it the largest raid ever.  Of course the AP has to respond with a sob story about how scared illegals are.

 

Jimmy Carter brought up the race issue again at the DNC.

 

The Washington Post had the most racist headline of the day:  "Scores Stable as More Minorities Take SAT"  Georgia's scores dropped, making us ranked #47 in the country.

 

The LPGA has now required that players speak English.  Why can't we do that nationally?

 

Major League Baseball is going to start using instant replay for home run calls starting tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Obamas, Kennedys, Clintons struggle to get along

The Democrats are trying to have the "greenest" convention ever.  Too bad wooden hotel keycards didn't work, so they had to go back to plastic.

 

Hillary's delegates are a little concerned over Barack Obama.  Forty two percent of Hillary's pledged delegates plan to support Hillary when her name is brought into nomination.  They may or may not be able to express their desire for Hillary, since the Obama and Hillary camps have worked out a deal for unanimous consent of Obama as the nominee.  The camps themselves seem to be having trouble working together.  Hillary's advisors even plan to skip Obama's coronation speech.

 

The latest update:  The Obama people are trying to have a secret roll-call vote, off the public floor of the convention.

 

Michelle Obama's hospital does not give health care to uninsured patients.  You have to love this liberal hypocrisy.

 

A black Hillary supporter said that one of Obama's mentors called her an "Uncle Tom."  Which side is making this campaign about race again?

 

Jesse Jackson Jr. compared Barack Obama to Jackie Robinson yesterday, saying that he "can't hit back" to attacks against him.  Maybe that's why Biden is on the ticket.

 

The Democrats are having some trouble balancing the influences of the three big political clans, the Obamas, the Kennedys, and the Clintons.

 

A conservative nonprofit group is running an ad about the connection between Barack Obama and Bill Ayres.  Obama, of course, wants the ad stopped.  If you can't beat them, silence them.  If you need more information on Ayres, Michael Barone has a nice little summary of the guy's accomplishments.

 

Lobbyists are wearing scarlet "L" patches at the DNC, telling people that they are proud of their profession.

 

Nancy Pelosi is getting a little more willing to look at drilling for oil, but they have to pay royalties (read:  taxes) on their profits.

 

The latest victim of the ethanol scam:  tequila.  Oh well, maybe we can just start drinking the ethanol instead.

 

The biggest missing story in politics?  A majority of voters call themselves conservatives.

 

A planned elementary school in California is going to have to wait at least another 18 months before construction can begin because an endangered shrimp was found on the lot.

 

The beginning of a tragedy:  Lady Margaret Thatcher has dementia.

 

Parents are complaining that a little league pitcher shouldn't be allowed to play because he's too good.

 

Wind turbines make bats' lungs explode.

 

The government is trying to establish a speed limit on ships to save whales.

 

The Georgia Aquarium has a new resident, a 9-foot manta ray.

 

Here's a new scientific report that questions the theory of man-made global warming.

 

CSI Macon (remember, not about crime) admitted that they have no idea about how to make the I-75/I-16 interchange work for them.  It's all about stopping progress.

 

Macon police think that 3 of the 6 shootings in the city on Sunday might have been related to gang activity.  Remember when Macon didn't have a gang problem?

 

A puppy scared off 3 bears just by barking at them.

 

An Amtrak train ran out of gas.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Obama/Biden Is Your Ticket

The Messiah has picked his running mate.  Joe Biden will be on the bottom of the ticket, even though the Obama campaign printed bumper stickers and t-shirts with Obama-Biden, Obama-Bayh, Obama-Sebelius, and Obama-Gore.  I guess they were willing to waste the money.

 

The pick of Biden says a lot of things about Barack Obama.  As I said on Friday, Obama needed somebody to bring gravitas and foreign policy experience to the ticket.  Biden does that.  At the same time, it shows the Obama campaign's acknowledgement of where their candidate is lacking.  It also shows a departure from the language of "change" and rhetoric of changing the political dynamic, since Biden has been in the Senate for longer than John McCain.  He's the ultimate Washington insider, right down to the fact that he loves to cozy up to lobbyists.

 

The biggest criticism of Biden is that he has a big mouth, which should make him good as an attack dog.  The truth is, the guy's a loose cannon.  There will be a lot of chances in the next 10 weeks for Biden to blow up, potentially hurting the ticket.  He also has a history of lying to make himself sound good.  To sum things up, Biden is a big talker who loves nobody more than Joe Biden.

 

Obama must have been off the teleprompter when he made his formal announcement, since he called Biden "the next President."

 

Obama's decision to pick Joe Biden might not have appeased the Clinton supporters who are still planning shenanigans for the Convention.  I'm looking forward to seeing the delegate vote with Hillary being nominated.

 

On a more superficial note, here's an analysis of Joe Blowhard's hair.

 

Republicans are already attacking the Obama/Biden ticket, saying it shows that The Messiah is writing off the South.

 

Democrats have the most advantages they've had since Watergate.  That's before you consider the Messiah effect.

 

There is only one way that The Messiah could possibly lose this election:  racism.

 

The Democrat National Convention starts today, with their theme of "One Nation."  This is the last piece of proof that John Edwards won't be invited.  By the way, shouldn't they be worried about having one party?  After all, the "Recreate '68" kooks are already protesting in Denver and the PUMA people are trying their best to make sure Hillary walks out of the convention with the nomination.

 

New York Delegates were warned about drinking in Denver.  They might just need to be blasted to vote for Obama.

 

Congresswoman Corrine Brown (D-Jacksonville, FL) called the mayor's office to ask the city of Jacksonville protect her house during Tropical Storm Fay.  The mayor's chief of staff sent city workers to put sandbags in front of Brown's house, then to put sandbags in front of the house of a member of city council without her asking.  Nobody else got such treatment from the city.

 

Good news:  illegal immigrants are returning to Mexico in record numbers.

 

It's August, and thanks to global warming, Minnesota and Wisconsin had a chance of frost last night.  Yet another reason I live in the South.

 

A 1,000 pound woman accused of murder is causing a problem for prosecutors:  she's too fat to go to jail or court.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Last Evening Show--Anything Goes Friday!

There won't be a "unity ticket" after all.  Hillary hasn't even been vetted as a potential running mate by the Obama campaign.

 

Denver police have been told to ignore marijuana possession during the DNC.  Not like that's stereotypical…

 

A pregnant woman expecting her fourth child threatened to blow up a Department of Social Services building after she was told that she didn't qualify for the welfare she wanted.  I guarantee that the babydaddy isn't in the picture.

 

MTV Arabia won't be playing music videos during Ramadan.  It's ok, you can still get your dose of reality shows.

 

Christian students were forced off of a theology school campus by a mob of Muslims.  Do you notice how this never happens in reverse?

 

A cop who was suspended for having sex with a prostitute claims that the sex wasn't fun, it was work.

 

Alabama is going to start charging overweight state employees for their health insurance.

 

Corn-based ethanol's image is starting to fade since it started to raise the price of food.  Good riddance.

 

A couple of "grammar vigilantes" have been kicked out of national parklands for the next year for fixing errors on signs placed by the government.

 

According to a cockroach race in New Jersey, John McCain will beat The Messiah in November's election.

 

Guess what CSI Macon is all about?  Hint:  It's not about fixing the crime problem.

 

Perry police raided convenience stores Wednesday to take away their video gambling machines.  Notice the last names of the convenience store owners.

 

A teenager was hospitalized after being shocked while trying to steal copper wiring.

 

For your entertainment…here are 25 reasons you might be a liberal.  Here are 25 more.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Voters want Barr in Debates

John McCain admitted that he isn't sure how many houses he owns.  That's just the kind of sound byte the left needed to paint him as an elitist.

 

More bad news for McCain:  the Democrats have found a genuine scandal about his campaign finances.

 

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg is backpedalling on his windmills on skyscrapers idea after receiving enough ridicule.

 

This year has been the coolest so far for at least five years.  In fact, it's so cold that Brits are buying thermal underwear, winter coats, and wool in August in numbers typical for October.  Global warming is really working overtime this year.

 

I'm sure that this won't shut you conspiracy kooks up (unfortunately), but it really was fire that destroyed WTC7 on 9/11.  Now go back to your caves.

 

Charles Murray, who wrote The Bell Curve back in the 1990s, now says that too many people go to college.  He's absolutely right; when I was in college, I knew plenty of people who weren't capable of being there.

 

A majority of voters want Bob Barr to be included in the Presidential debates.

 

Newsweek wonders:  Would Hillary be crushing McCain?   Probably.

 

Finally the International Olympic Committee is investigating the Chinese gymnasts' ages.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Biden out of consideration for Obama's VP?

Joe Biden killed some of the buzz surrounding him as a possible running mate for Barack Obama today, telling reporters that he's "not the guy."

 

Whether he'll be McCain's VP choice or not, Joe Lieberman will be speaking at the Republicans' convention.

 

Some young supporters of Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul may not be staying with John McCain in November, if they show up at all.

 

Ahead of the DNC, the city of Denver is giving homeless people free haircuts.

 

Somehow McCain is running a close race with The Messiah in Michigan.

 

Barack Obama's long-lost brother was found living in a hut in Kenya.

 

Some college presidents say that the legal drinking age should be lowered to 18.  This one should bring some discussion.

 

If Vlad wasn't trying to get the gang back together, then he would have no problem with Poland receiving a missile shield to protect them from Iran.  I still think he's trying to lead the reemergence of the Russian Empire.

 

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg wants to start putting wind turbines on skyscrapers and bridges in the city.  I'm telling you, this wind stuff is such a waste of time, money, and effort.

 

Health Nazis are upset by Michael Phelps signing an endorsement deal with Frosted Flakes.

 

An Oregon man was fined $500 for disorderly conduct for protesting a city-run day labor center in Portland.

 

We finally get Congress to approve money to build a border fence to stop the illegal alien invasion, and the Interior Department won't let us build it.  Have you noticed that environmentalists ruin everything?

 

I never thought I would encourage you to read a Maureen Dowd column, but you have to read this.  Absolutely hilarious.

 

Here's the story from The Sun about our changes here at News/Talk 1350 WNNG.  Lucky you, they decided not to run the picture of me.

 

Governor Perdue has frozen the $428 million homeowner tax grants to local governments.  While the state has been giving local governments this money, the local governments have used it to grow.

 

Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs Jones is in critical condition after having a brain aneurysm.  Earlier in the day, Tubbs Jones was reported dead.

 

Don't read this story if you want to wait until you see it on TV to know what happened in the men's 200 meter race today.

 

Two elderly Chinese women have been sentenced to a year of "re-education through labor" for attempting to protest the use of eminent domain by the Chinese government.

 

Michael Vick has filed for bankruptcy, since he is losing $12,000 per month.  I have absolutely no sympathy for the cretin.

 

Bibb County approved a measure to spend $1,500 to build an awning over the smokers' area just outside the Bibb County Courthouse.

 

The California legislature has passed a bill requiring that hybrid and electric cars make more noise in an effort to protect blind people.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

McCain to name Veep Aug 29

Iran is building more nuclear power plants (read:  trying to make more bombs).  Even if the nuclear plants were used for peaceful purposes, why are we letting the Iranians get ahead of us on nuclear power?

 

Japan is going to label consumer goods with the goods' carbon footprints.  I bet about a dozen people in the whole country actually look at the label.

 

A New Zealand ski mountain is reporting their largest snowpack ever.

 

A Mexican scientist says that the earth is within a decade of entering another "little ice age" due to solar activity.  This gives us a lot more to fear than global warming.

 

The Republicans are doing this same "go green" junk as the Democrats with their convention.

 

Congress may be on vacation, but they haven't actually done anything to take a break from.  This Congress has passed the fewest laws of any Congress in two decades.  They have found the time to pass more earmarks than they did last year, however.  It's all about buying more votes.

 

With McCain expected to name his Vice Presidential nominee on August 29 (the day after the DNC), he is starting to get feedback on a couple of his potential picks from National Review, mainly about the abortion issue.

 

Even the left-wing New Republic says that Barack Obama is "too cool" to win.  The Messiah has his devoted following anyway, so he can stop being cool to get "swing" voters.

 

Just what we need:  homeless people registering to vote.

 

The Daily Mail in England noticed a disturbing trend:  most of Great Britain's Olympic medalists were educated in private school.  Shocked?

 

A Muslim runner from Bahrain competed in the Olympics in a head scarf.

 

A publisher pulled a book about the Pedophile Prophet's child bride just before its release due to security concerns.  Muslim thugs stopping the freedom of speech and press yet again…

 

Finally!  Warner Robins has banned sagging pants.

 

A liquor company did a survey comparing the drinking habits of Democrats and Republicans.

 

Cell phone users in India now have the option of getting a ringtone that says "condom, condom" to promote safe sex.

 

German scientists are trying to solve the problem of bad hair days.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Saddleback Forum Wrap

The Infallible, Great, and Wonderful Messiah, Barack Obama was asked a question about abortion at that evangelical conference Saturday night.  Apparently the question was "above his pay grade."  If he can't answer a simple question about abortion, then how can he expect us to trust his judgment on national security?

 

Each candidate was also asked which Supreme Court justices they would not have nominated.  Obama took the opportunity to throw the only black justice on the Court under the bus.  The Wall Street Journal took the opportunity to compare Obama's and Thomas' qualifications.

 

Here is a wrap from the faith forum, and here's another one.  McCain clearly did better than The Messiah, but even McCain said some stupid things, like that President Bush should have encouraged Americans to join the Peace Corps after 9/11.  What a waste.

 

While McCain and Obama were trying to gain support of evangelicals, Bob Barr was trying to get a court just to let him into the forum.

 

John McCain may have had his best fundraising month yet in July ($27 million), but The Messiah nearly doubled him.  McCain's decision to take public financing was dumb, but he still wouldn't have been able to raise the money that The Messiah can raise.

 

According to Nancy Pelosi, The Messiah really is "a leader that God has blessed us with at this time."

 

Just ahead of the "green" Democrat Convention, Denver saw a record low high temperature on Saturday.  The high was just 58 degrees, with the previous record of 63 in 1890.  Global warming, rearing its ugly head again…

 

NBC, the same network that tries to preach to Americans to "go green," is using air conditioning for their outdoor sets in Beijing.  Remember, this is the same network that turned off the lights on its football preview show to make a "point" about going green.

 

I became a Kobe Bryant fan when I read this.  Kobe went to the Olympics and, rather than claiming to be a "citizen of the world" (a la The Messiah), Bryant said that "Our country is the best."  Good for him.

 

The decline of America:  Is Jon Stewart the most trusted man in America?  If so, then more reason to stop letting most people vote.

 

Mike Huckabee said that he feels safer in Israel than in American inner cities.  Count him out for McCain's VP.

 

Open mouth, insert foot:  "The Screamer" called the Republicans the "white party."

 

A 16-year-old California girl who died in a car wreck was not only drunk and speeding, but she was also texting at the time of her wreck.  I'd call her a Darwin Awards candidate for this year.

 

Also in California, the family of a boy who was shot for being gay is blaming the school for allowing him to dress in drag at school rather than enforcing the dress code.

 

An Australian mayor is encouraging unattractive women to come to his town to make up for a shortage of women in the town.

 

Want a boob job without having to pay for it?  Now there's gum that claims to help the twins!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Anything Goes Friday

Thanks to his stupid decision to take public financing for his campaign, John McCain has to burn through all of his cash before the end of the month.

 

President Bush may not be popular, but he can still bring home the bacon for the Republican Party.  He's approaching a billion dollars in campaign funds generated for his own campaigns and those of the Republican Party and individual Republican candidates.

 

Bush's fundraising prowess is just boosted by the left-wing kooks who have tried for eight years to compare him to Satan and Hitler.  I'm talking about the same people who are going to protest the DNC and who are travelling the country demanding that Bush be impeached.

 

Macon Mayor Robert Reichert was interviewed by the Washington Post about his support for The Messiah.  He compared him to Moses instead.  Regardless, Obama is a religious figure.

 

A Texas school district is going to let teachers carry guns.  I guarantee that they will never have a school shooting.

 

According to one scientist, Michael Phelps is a cheater.  Apparently listening to music has the same effect as doping.

 

A "gifted" student has been hospitalized after drinking liquid nitrogen.  Yeah, he's real "gifted."

 

A couple of yahoos looking for their fifteen minutes of fame claim they have Bigfoot's body.  I'm not buying it.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Wind Power Is Bad For Your Health

The left's latest environmental "fix" has an unintended consequence:  wind turbines are causing health problems for people who live near them. Yet again, the solution is worse than the problem.

 

At least the people having problems will know who to sue, since Nancy Pelosi profits off of wind power.  But of course she's not letting that influence her support for the use of windmills…

 

Almost half of Americans favor government-mandated balance in media.  While we're at it, why don't we just let the government start running the media?

 

If you want to see the Messiah's acceptance speech, first you have to volunteer for the campaign.  Democrats are upset, since they'll actually have to work for something rather than have it handed to them.

 

Hillary will be nominated at the Democrat convention.  Oh boy, this should create some fun.

 

The "party of the people" might have some problems in Denver, since they're facing a limousine shortage.

 

College students are using food stamps as the latest form of financial aid.  Get them hooked on government early…

 

The New York Times says that Social Security is actually a viable issue in this election.  The only expressed principle with regard to the issue is Obama's desire to raise taxes.

 

Here's an interesting thing to discuss in the wake of Vlad trying to get the Soviet Union back together:  Does American foreign policy have teeth?

 

John McCain is suggesting that *gasp* he might not use abortion as a litmus test for his running mate.  This just might be the best thing I've heard from him yet…

 

Muslims in Frankford, Illinois are angry over an elected official suggesting that Muslims who want to live under Sharia law should leave the country.

 

A VFW post in Montrose, PA has upset some folks by saying on their voice mail that anybody who doesn't speak English should hang up.

 

A group of developers are planning a 35-story indoor ski mountain, among other attractions, on Long Island.  Environmentalists plan to oppose the project.

 

The Macon police continue wasting their resources worrying about massage parlors.

 

Some Macon residents have their panties in a wad over the proposed I-16/I-75 interchange.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

McCain-Pawlenty Ticket?

Yesterday I told you about former Iowa Republican Congressman Jim Leach throwing his support towards Barack Obama.  Now I've found the other two moderate-at-best Republicans who have joined him.

 

Here's a surprise:  the possibility of there being a Presidential landslide is very low.

 

It's looking more like John McCain will choose Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty as his running mate, as the McCain campaign announced a press appearance for Pawlenty.  Are they showing their hand?

 

Yesterday I told you about Hillary's unused campaign strategy to paint Obama as less than fully American.  Can John McCain do what Hillary didn't?

 

Democrats have now adjusted their platform (with more government handouts) in an attempt to pander to turbos.

 

What was left of a foreclosed house in Detroit after the local hoodlums stole everything of any value sold for just $1.

 

Chicago has had the fewest number of days over 90 degrees in this decade than any other since 1930.

 

Denver is preparing for far-left protestors with a prison set up in a warehouse.  The lefties are already calling it "Gitmo On The Platte."

 

An FCC Commissioner said that the resurrection of the so-called "Fairness Doctrine" could potentially mean that the government could control web content as well.  It may not be long before the government controls all media in practice, rather than just by having sympathetic reporters.

 

Here's a case of a homeowner defeating a city that was trying to seize her home using eminent domain.  Good for her.

 

Marijuana is being grown in national parks.  It's too bad it's not the government growing it—at least then they'd be producing something.

 

The Washington Post debunks three "truths" about offshore oil drilling.

 

With gas prices being the biggest issue of the Presidential campaign, which candidate is best equipped to fix the problem?  You'll have to look beyond the two major parties, because McCain and Obama are equally ignorant on solving the problem.

 

Illegal Mexicans are returning to their home country as a result of tougher workplace enforcement of new hires.  This is all it takes, folks.

 

The latest proposal for solving world hunger:  rat snacks.

 

The Chi-Coms may have won both of the Olympic gold medals in gymnastics, but they had to cheat to do it.  They'll get away with it, but this just makes girls' gymnastics even creepier.

 

Would you put bird poop on your face for smoother skin?  I wouldn't.

 

A cheated-on wife is selling the panties that her husband's mistress wore, along with the condom wrapper she found in their bed, on eBay.

 

A 20-year-old was asked to leave a mall in Kentucky for her dress being too short.  Other women were complaining that their husbands were checking her out.

 

The city of Birmingham, England issued a flyer with information about the city's recycling program that featured a picture of Birmingham's skyline.  Only problem?  The picture was of Birmingham, Alabama.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Socialist Medicine Horror Stories

Fewer people are concerned about global warming, even though 8 in 10 still believe that the earth is getting warmer.  On this program, we will continue to push back the frontiers of ignorance.

 

Only a quarter of Americans say that they have a good understanding of science, which puts them at a diminished capacity to be an informed voter.  Basically, people who have no idea about the science behind "global warming" and other issues are following blindly like pigs to the slaughter.

 

Barack Obama is getting criticism for wanting to make old folks complete wards of the state.  It's all about trying to buy votes away from the old guy.

 

Congressional Democrats are angry over the fact that two-thirds of United States corporations do not pay federal income taxes.  Remember, no company ever pays taxes—they pass on those costs to consumers.

 

Alaska has already begun enriching itself at the expense of consumers by creating a windfall profits tax on oil companies.

 

Ralph Reed is throwing a fundraiser for John McCain.  This might help the Maverick among the turbos, but shouldn't do much for him otherwise.

 

Courtesy of National Review Online, here are 25 hints that you won't vote for Barack Obama.

 

A former Republican Congressman (who lost in 2006) endorsed Barack Obama and expressed the hope that The Messiah will take Chuck Hagel as his running mate or in his administration.

 

The official newspaper of the Communist Party USA all but endorsed Barack Obama, saying that he will end 30 years of ultra-right rule.  Were the commies sleeping through the Clinton years, or were they just hung over from their mourning the fall of the Soviet Union?

 

The fawning media is worried about the Bradley effect showing up and beating Obama in November.

 

Cancer patients are not getting the medicines they need from Britain's socialized healthcare system.  They have stated that patients are pretty much screwed if it would cost too much to save them.  Rationing—coming to the United States under socialized medicine.

 

More details are coming out on some of the strategies that were deliberated by Hillary's campaign.  As early as last March, Mark Penn recommended going negative against Obama by painting him as less than fully American.

 

The "Commie Hill Jihadist" pled guilty to attempted murder and assault for driving his car through a campus gathering place at the University of North Carolina.

 

Macon Mayor Robert Reichert vetoed the hotel/motel tax increase meant to fund the music and sports halls of fame.

 

While we're on the subject of Macon, Reichert is also asking for a new plan for the redesign of the I-16/I-75 interchange.

 

A groom was arrested after being too close to his bride at their wedding.

 

A man was saved from paralysis by super glue.

 

Winnie the Pooh was arrested for robbery.

 

An Italian Olympic silver medalist is asking the Italian government to exempt his prize money from taxation.

 

It wasn't just me—Gmail was down yesterday.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Global Warming: We're All Gonna Die!

The United States is lifting a law banning HIV-positive immigrants from coming to the United States legally.  It still might be two years before the new law takes effect.
 
The new AIDS prevention strategy:  bribe gay opinion leaders to talk positively about safe sex.
 
Joe Lieberman is apparently on John McCain's short list of running mates.  Lieberman has previously said that he did not want to run again, which is a good thing for McCain; if he picked Lieberman, he'd be finished.
 
The OPEC cartel had a record income for the first half of this year.  Will The Messiah start demanding a windfall profits tax on them?  I'm not holding my breath.
 
Here's something for you crazy environmentalists:  humans are doomed because of global warming.  Stop breathing and save us all, will you?
 
In the wake of the truth about John Edwards' affair being made public, a former Clinton campaign aide claims that, had Edwards left the race before Iowa, Clinton would be the nominee.  This should make for some interesting what-if deliberating.
 
Here's proof that the United States can't afford a President Obama.
 
Another socialized medicine horror story.  Wait until this comes here, thanks to the Messiah.  The difference will be that we won't have anywhere to go.
 
Courtesy of the Rocky Mountain News, some things you might not know about the Messiah.  Not all of these will be included in the new Gospel, the book of Barack.
 
The Politico is starting to worry about the Messiah's chances for victory.  Here is their list of seven worrisome signs for Obama.
 
The Maldives ratified a new constitution that only grants citizenship to Muslims.  By the carrot or the sword…
 
A lifeguard in Montreal filed a human rights complaint against a YMCA for not allowing her to wear her scarf of oppression while on duty.
 
A caravan of hybrids is driving across the state to try and spread their environmentalist agenda.  Isn't this a waste of gas?
 
If you're going to talk trash about the United States, you better be able to back it up.  You hear that, Frenchy?

Friday, August 08, 2008

Anything Goes, Week in Review Friday

The price of oil dropped almost four dollars today, to $114 per barrel.  That can't have anything to do with the fact that Iraq announced that it is resuming oil exploration, can it?

 

John "Pretty Boy" Edwards admitted to having an affair with the woman that the National Enquirer caught him visiting, but still denies that he is the baby daddy of her child.

 

An SUV carrying 19 people rolled over in Arizona yesterday, killing at least 9 of the passengers.  ICE is still investigating whether the vehicle was being used for human smuggling.  I wouldn't have thought any investigation was needed.

 

The Tyson plant in Shelbyville, TN that had eliminated Labor Day in favor of the Muslim holy day Eid al-Fitr has now decided to give workers Labor Day off and then another "personal holiday" that employees can use on any day of the year.

 

Mexican troops crossing the border and holding a Border Patrol agent at gunpoint?  Just a "misunderstanding."

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Do you work for your country?

Global warming apparently isn't working in paradise, because Maui County is experiencing record lows.  That sounds a lot more pleasant than the scorching heat here in Middle Georgia the last few days, which still isn't due to global warming.

 

Global warming is not to blame for the decline of snow levels in the Cascade Mountains.

 

Maybe the sluggish economy is having positive effects:  being "green" is no longer cool.  If you ask me, it was never cool.

 

Marburg, Germany is subject to "green dictatorship."  It's coming here, folks.

 

The EPA refused to decrease the mandate for the use of ethanol in gasoline.  When I see a gas station promising to have ethanol in their gasoline, I keep driving.

 

After last night's news that Hillary wants to be nominated at the convention after all, now Time magazine has a story showing that clearly the Clintons have not gotten over their defeat.  Some of Hillary's supporters haven't gotten over the loss either; they're lobbying Obama delegates to support Hillary at the convention.  There will still be some fun to be had in Denver (even though you can't carry chains, carabiners, or poop in the city)!

 

Nancy Pelosi's book has flopped, which her handlers blame on the fact that she hasn't been promoting it.

 

President Bush gave a speech this morning in Thailand condemning China's record on human rights.  The Chinese government responded by telling him to stay out of their affairs.

 

President Bush should also be talking about the Saudis, who by discrimination have never sent a woman to the Olympics.

                                                                                               

The Los Angeles City Council is set to consider an ordinance to require large home improvement stores to set aside space for day laborers (read:  illegal immigrants).

 

People with racial chips on their shoulders are claiming that John McCain's ads attacking The Messiah are laced with racial subtexts.  They're digging pretty deep here.

 

Here's a view into the mind of Barack Obama.  He says that oil companies are "amoral" because they "want to make as much money as they can for their shareholders."

 

Here's an interesting point of view:  General Petraeus saved the United States' economy.

 

The Congressional Budget Office says that the budget deficit will reach a new record at the end of this fiscal year—$400 billion.

 

Despite the deficit, there is no need for a tax increase, even to support the big three entitlements.  Unfortunately, Richard Rahn, the author of this column, gets it wrong on the FairTax.

 

The United States military is catching fire again for its treatment of prisoners captured in Iraq.  The violent prisoners are placed into 3 foot by 3 foot by 6 foot "segregation boxes" for up to 12 hours at a time.  It sure beats having them in the general prison population where they fling their excrement at American soldiers.

 

Here's the latest definition of patriotism:  working longer and holding off retirement.  You're not a patriot if you retire early.  Do you hear that, comrades?

 

USA Today ran a story chronicling the difficulty of third party candidates, including Libertarian candidate Bob Barr, to gain ballot access thanks to the electoral system run and controlled by the two-party machine.

 

Remember the story of the two Border Patrol Agents who were convicted and sentenced to jail for shooting an illegal immigrant drug smuggler?  The smuggler was given a shorter sentence than the agents.

 

Forbes issued a list of the United States' ten fastest dying cities.

 

Check out this 110-year-old stud.

 

A Rolling Stones song woke a man from a 10-week coma.