State Dept Missed Underwear Bomber

Dave Barry has his annual year-in-review column out.  That's always a must-read.

 

The State Department twice missed the fact that the underwear bomber had a visa to travel to the United States despite his radical Muslim ties.  Apparently the underwear bomber was lonely and depressed, just like every other teenager on the planet.  Al Qaeda apparently practices beating airport security, which some say requires really creepy full-body scanners.  Two of the plotters of the underwear bombing were released from Guantanamo Bay in 2007.  The explosive used in the underwear bombing was the same used in an attack on a Saudi prince in August.  Sen. Chris Dodd (D-CT) slashed aviation security funding so he could send $4.5 million to a pet constituency.

 

Apparently The Mistake is tired.  Boo-freaking-hoo.

 

Global warming is working so well that some states are out of money in their budgets for snow removal.

 

The guy who brought charges against the New Black Panther Party for voter intimidation has been removed from his post in the Justice Department.

 

The health care bill includes a penalty for construction businesses that don't provide health care.

 

Ben Nelson, Senatorial Gigolo, is down 31 points to a possible 2012 Senate challenger, but he can cut that to just 10 points by blocking ObamaCare.

 

The Democrats are trying to get the Republicans to provide them cover for raising taxes.  Knowing the Republicans, they'll play along with this.

 

There is a new epidemic:  people calling 911 for non-emergencies.

 

A man who was arrested for oral sex with underage girls tried to excuse it by saying that the Monicas gave him "good luck" at the casino.

 

Turtle flatulence caused an aquarium to lower their water levels.

 

A zoo in Illinois has raised over $20,000 selling necklaces and ornaments made from reindeer droppings.

 

Chinese people pay tens of thousands of dollars to have their dogs mate with purebred Tibetan Mastiffs.

 

A robber in Athens shot himself in the foot trying to remove his gun from his coveralls.

 

Some members of the state legislature want to restore bonuses to nationally certified teachers.  Everything that they spend money on has to come out of the budget somewhere.

 

Presumptive Speaker David Ralston has said there would be no tax increases to cover the budget deficit.  Can we legalize Sunday alcohol sales to raise more revenue without raising taxes, then?

 

Warner Robins City Clerk Stan Martin was suspended without pay, and could be fired tonight at the meeting of City Council.

 

Warner Robins Mayor John Havrilla destroyed secret files that Donald Walker kept on elected officials, department heads, and others.  District Attorney Kelly Burke, who wants to investigate WRPD Chief Brett Evans for a few text messages, is praising the destruction of the files.